Season's End

Well, there you go. A crushing 4-1 victory, all the goals in a magnificent first half, and the kind of form that wins titles.

Only thirty-eight games too late, mind you.

And as Arsenal fans, we've got the right to be angry. This season promised much, but delivered nothing. The team only seemed to perform one match in three, and we struggled to achieve fourth place in the Premier League.

Granted, we reached the last four in Europe, but we just were not good enough.

It says something about the "too little, too late" nature of 2008/9 when our best player has been Andrei Arshavin...

BUT! I am convinced that after four trophyless years, we've turned the corner. We've got the makings of a truly great team, and with a following wind on the injuries from, we'll no longer be the Premier League's "Nearly Men".

We need a few key signings in defence and up front, funded by offloading a bit of dead wood and by playing Milan, Chelsea and Man City off each other to get a ridiculous cash sum for Adebayor.

I'll save Arsene at least ten million by volunteering myself to fill in for Eboue next year. Granted, I'll be turning 44 next February, but I actually CARE for the Reds, and will make up for my lack of stamina, fitness and actual skill with enthusiasm and my ability to tie opponents' laces together when they're not looking.

And I boldly predict: ARSENAL - Premier League Champions 2010. Player of the season: ME.

I will be perfectly happy if only 50% of this prediction comes true

Have a good summer - if you want to follow me further, my EXCELLENT personal blog can be found HERE.

Pride restored

First, let me say - through gritted teeth - congratluations to Manchester United. Far and away the best club side in the world at the moment, nobdy can hold a candle to them.

This being the case, you would have expected this Arsenal side - after last week's nightmare against Chelsea - to go up to Old Trafford and get totally whupped by pretty-boy Ronaldo and his mates.

So, it was refreshing to see a good, old-fashioned Arsenal performance to deny Yoo-nit-ed the resounding win they so desperately wanted to cap their title.

In fact, with Arshavin running the show, it was a shame we didn't take all three points to leave the opposition to sweat on the title into next weekend. Not to be.

Plenty of positives to take away from this one - for a change - and after the soul-search of the last couple of weeks, we might have something to look forward next season.

My heart's set on some bunch of mugs at Chelsea or Milan paying 30 or 40 million for Adebayor, and Arsene taking the funds to build the defence we so desperately need.

Or he can buy me a nice car, or something.

Stoke City next week - the pointless end-of-season match to end all pointless end-of-season matches, so it would be nice to see a mix of experienced heads and new faces turning it on.

Or - radical change of direction - they could hold a lottery, and eleven paying punters from the crowd get to turn out for the mighty Reds. Take your boots - it could be you. You couldn't do any worse than some of the first team this season, not naming any names.

*cough* Eboue *cough

Look into my eyes...

Look right into my eyes...

You are feeling drowsy...

You are feeling sleepy...

You cannot keep your eyes open...

You are asleep...

You will take heed of everything I say...

"There was no football on Sunday. Arsenal were not completely and utterly humiliated at home to Chelsea. They did not lose 4-1. It didn't happen. There was NO football on Sunday."

Aaaand... you're back in the room.

Played up at Pompey

This week's  "Arsenal: Good or rubbish?" indicator = EXCELLENT.

This has been such a rollercoaster season, it's been hard to keep up.

One week we're playing the best football in the world, the next we've got eleven overpaid layabouts wandering around the pitch saying "Hullo trees, hullo sky, hullo flowers" making us ashamed of the colours.

So, after the Chelsea semi-final ("Hullo trees, hullo sky, hullo flowers") came the rock-hard glory of the Liverpool 4-4 draw before we're all "Hullo trees, hullo sky, hullo flowers" against Man United again.

Make your minds up, eh lads?

This Saturday, I am pleased to report, we're the best football team in the world. Even Nicklas Bendtner, who has taken time off from saying hello to various flora and fauna to suddenly discover where the goal is. On more than one occasion.

We've got Portsmouth to thank fo that. We love teams that come at us. Teams that don't stifle the way we play. Teams that let us play football our way - killing them completely TO DEATH with sharp breaks.

String eight players across the back, and we're in trouble - unable to prod the ball through and score that perfect goal.

Cheers, then, Pompey, for letting us completely thrash you. Yes, you had your chances, but if you weren't so busy wandering around saying "Hullo trees, hullo sky, hullo flowers" and getting yourselves sent off instead of sticking the ball in the onion sack, you might well have got a result.

A win that confirms Champs League football next year. Job done on that front at least.

All we've got to do now is take the confidence from this win onto Tuesday and do the same job on that bunch of weeds from ...errr... Manchester United.  Simple.

And straight back down again...

Just as we began to think we were bulletproof after the Villarreal and Wigan results, we turn in a poor performance at Wembley when we wanted a result.

Yeah, we did well to score against a decent (if defensively suspect) Chelsea side, but then we did absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip.

It might have been a closely fought match, but to be honest I think we shot our bolt exactly when it mattered. Injuries took their toll (story of our season) but we can do better. But didn't.

Did I ever mention how much I dislike Chelsea?

Arsenal 2-0 Man City

Hey wow! We're excellent again!

Funnily enough, this coincides with the return of an Adebayor that can actually be bothered, Theo Walcott, and Cesc Fabregas.

The fact that Fabregas ran the show, and eased us to victory shows just how much we've missed him in the last few months.

We've missed him this much, in fact: A LOT.

All we need now is for everybody above us to lose all their games, and for us to win all of ours, and we'll be CHAMPIONS.

Come on, folks. Stranger things have happened.

And frankly, I think third place is in our grasp, and there are still trophies out there to be won.

There's a new bounce and confidence about the team. It might be too late for the title, but it's good to be a Gooner again.

Newcastle 1-3 Arsenal

Hear that screeching noise? That is OFFICIALLY the sound of Arsenal Football Club's season turning the corner.

A little bit of luck. A lot of teamwork. Penalty saves, keeping our heads up when the other team equalises - this time we showed all the spirit and drive that was missing in games earlier this season.

And good grief - three goals. Away from home.

What - I ask - has Arsene been putting in their tea?

We've got some tough fixtures coming up, but this time I'm hopeful. We've got the momentum - and did I say luck? -  while those around us are playing like a bunch of Sunday cloggers.

You REDS!

Arsenal: An apology

Previous blog posts on these pages may have lead the reader to believe that the Arsenal FC first team might be a bunch of underachieving, overpaid buckets of lard who care nothing for success or the continued good name of the club.

In particular, I might have said a thing or two about Emmanuel Eboue which might have intimated that he might not have been fit to wear the red shirt.

I now accept that these were the words of my evil twin brother and were nothing to do with me. At all.

Since I last wrote this column, we've won three times, scored ten and put the last Italian club out of the Champions League. I dare say - and tempting utter disaster - that our season might have turned the corner.

Blackburn have been - in the past - tricky customers on our patch. They are the very dictionary definition of ten-behind-the-ball and a goalie playing his game of the season.

Paul Robinson - meet Andrei Arshavin. Our new Russian genius got his first goal for the club after two minutes and we never looked back.

Yes, we did our best to miss as many chances as possible before the end of the game, but after Andrei got his second, Blackburn knew the game was up. Then it was left for Eboue - YES, Eboue - to wrap up the game and lift up back into the Champions League places.

We're back in the groove, we've got top players coming back and hitting form.

Too late? Hope not.

Arsenal 0-0 Fulham

Same old, same old.

Somebody wake me when we score a goal.

History repeating

Correct me if I'm wrong, but we've already been here this season. On more than one occasion.

Yet another midweek false dawn - the 4-0 practice match thumping of Cardiff City- and the lads stagger out, blinking, into the sunlight of the Emirates the following Saturday and hammer out a 0-0 draw against less-than-interesting opposition.

All the ingredients are there, right down to the visiting goalie having the game of his life, and desperate, last-minute assaults on the Sunderland goal (protected by a force field invented by a Man Yoo obsessed mad scientist) result in the ball ending up in orbit.

Andrei Arshavin must be wondering what he's got himself into.

On our patent Eboue-o-meter we rank this match :"Aaaaaaaaaargh".