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DISTURBING news that the knife crime epidemic has reached leafy Hampstead Heath. Why, only the other day, somebody used the wrong blade to carve up their fish course.
No wonder London life has become way, way too much for Alexander Hleb. No wonder he wants to flee his multi-million pound hell-hole in that anarchic suburb of North London.
ON CHELSEA'S website last week, they paid homage to Roman Abramovich. Sorry, even more homage to Roman Abramovich.
You see, July 1 marked the fifth anniversary of his reign.
THERE IS a line from the classic James song Sit Down that goes like this.
‘If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with being poor.’
News of the World chief sports writer ANDY DUNN is covering Euro 2008 for the biggest newspaper on the planet. Based in Vienna, here is his regular blog, which will give you a fascinating behind-the-scenes insight into a tournament England fans can only watch from the sidelines.
June 22: Rest players and you risk looking daft
BEFORE RUSSIA squeezed the juice out of the Orange on Saturday, a Croatian friend told me a story.
He said that Malden Petric's left boot had been put up for auction recently. For charity, of course.
WAYNE ROONEY will no doubt be enjoying his honeymoon tonight in the privacy of his hotel suite.
Just him, Coleen and, more than likely, a photographer from OK magazine, there to capture the big moment.
Spineless Rob has to take the blameBy ANDY DUNN
THE PLAYERS concerned have the complete support of the management. Those are the words of Rob Andrew.
Andrew and complete support are familiar bedfellows — certainly more familiar than a teenage Kiwi girl and a couple of boozed-up England players.
EXPECTATIONS. They tighten the chest like a heart murmur, cramp the legs before you take a step, shake every finger on your hand.
They plague great footballers, great sportsmen. Portugal’s exuberant football was becalmed by them, Croatia’s seemingly indomitable spirit crushed by them.
BIG PHIL, Little Dave. Sounds like a comedy double act. Only it ain’t funny.
As Sir Dave Richards was getting a metaphorical six of the best from Richard Scudamore, Phil Scolari (right) was trousering a £6million-a-year pay packet to become the next manager of Chelsea.
WHAT A shame Cristiano Ronaldo wasn’t able to make Wayne Rooney’s stag do.
The Croxteth crew could have shaved off his carefully-sculpted eyebrows, stripped him naked, tied him to a lamp-post and left him exposed to the humiliation he deserves.
IF YOU had six quid left in your pocket after buying a ticket for Wednesday night’s half-hearted kickabout at Wembley and keeping yourself fed and watered, you might have bought a match programme.
On page 10, there was a picture of John Terry wearing the latest England jersey. Red - with a couple of gratuitous, random blue and white flashes.
AC MILAN last week made Matthieu Flamini the most expensive water-carrier in the world.
About £4million-a-year for a guy who was made to look twice the player he really is by the brilliance that surrounded him.
A guy you wouldn't watch if he was playing at the bottom of your garden.
WHO doesn't feel sorry for the multi-millionaire playboy Sven Goran Eriksson?
Not Peter Reid. "If Sven goes, it's ridiculous."
YOU have to suspend all sense of reality when you come to Las Vegas for a big fight.
Every shyster, every trickster, every bull*******, every pimp, every weirdo creeps through the city's vents like human air-conditioning.
Then you call home to find out what is going on in the Premier League - and you feel like you are in the sanest place on the planet.
