Hitman

Take Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), who goes AWOL after a botched assassination attempt on a Russian presidential candidate.

He's desperate to work out why he fluffed his mission — so tries to find out in a way that involves shooting, garotting and generally murdering as many people as possible — including Lost's Henry Ian Cusik who makes an appearance as womanising arms dealer Udre Belicoff.

Throughout the killing spree, Angent 47 is hotly pursued by a sweary Interpol agent (Desperate Housewives' Dougray Scott), his sweary sidekick (CBBC's Michael Offei) and a much better behaved Russian agent (Prison Break's Robert Knepper).

For reasons too contrived to go into here, 47's joined by a slender, sexy hooker called Nika (Ukranian babe Olga Kurylenko—get the spelling right for Google, lads).

When she's not wandering around in just a nearly-non-existent g-string, she wears tops and dresses so wantonly transparent they might as well be made of clingfilm.

Straightforward boobs and bloodshed stuff.

But the script by Skip Woods is about as basic as they come — and makes his last movie, the okay-ish Swordfish, sound like bloody Othello.

Plus, Olyphant just doesn't have the charisma to pull off a proper lead role. But this isn't a proper lead role. And Hitman, which is based on the popular computer game, is not really a proper movie.

It's a checklist of teenage boy fantasies including — but not limited to — women who want to have sex with you after you kill someone.

Watch the trailer for this film below...