Lisa's Gone, Sara Survives

It was close, but no cigar.

Fifteen minutes before lines closes it was fifty-fifty, but there was then a minor surge for Sara, making it 52.6% against Lisa, which just goes to show how much editing affects a vote.

Lisa barely featured, whereas most of last night’s highlights were about the “bullying” of Sara. I put the inverted commas in, because I actually thought, if anyone, it was Rex being bullied last night. I mean, he’s called into the diary room to be reminded that his behaviour is being “closely monitored”.

Darnell almost walked

Yesterday Darnell packed his bags and had visited the diary room twice by lunchtime wanting to quit.

His second visit lasted two hours. Unsurprisingly, BB talked him out of it. They need a bad guy there for the final week. They've still got Rex, of course, but Darnell's recent collapse has given them an unexpected second.

I actually find Darnell's behaviour painful to watch. I know he's been rude, and horrible, and unkind and incredibly self-centred, but he is by far the unhappiest housemate we have seen this series.

Sara Versus Lisa!

I am a complete and utter genius.

I looked into my crystal ball yesterday, said it was Sara and Lisa, and guess what, I was right!

And for my next trick... Well, actually, it wasn't exactly rocket science, brain surgery, or even being an executive chef. Sara and Lisa were bound to be the twosome facing eviction, though both Rex and Rachel came close to joining them.

Sara Versus Lisa?

So this is how it works tonight.

First show at nine is the usual highlights, but it's the eleven show where it happens. Everyone has to nominate, face to face, live. The two most unpopular will then face the public vote on Friday.

However, and I quote from a press release, "in a Big Brother twist the two housemates who will face this Friday's public eviction will play a game of jeopardy, head to head, for the chance to win a jackpot of £50,000. The winner's prize of £100,000 remains".

Mo is the New Head of House

Yesterday they voted, not for nominations, but for a new Head of House.

They chose Mo. Which means he's immune from Friday's eviction, and makes the final week. Of course, it doesn't mean he actually makes the final, as there is next Tuesday's double eviction to come, but it's a helping hand.

He could do with it too. As the rank outsider right now, at fifty to one, he needs all the help he can get.

Mario Proposes, Lisa says Yes

It was a day that no one who saw it will ever forget.

A bit like the Kennedy assassination, Johnny Wilkinson kicking the ball through the uprights to win the Rugby World Cup, and Pauline keeling over in Eastenders, everyone will remember then moment that Mario proposed to Lisa, and will one day be proud to tell their grandchildren how they felt, because they were there.

Well, anyone who watches Big Brother, anyway.

Rachel to Win!

We are now into the final fortnight.

Eight housemates left. But there can only be one winner. I think it must be Rachel. And, as Barry Norman probably never said, why not?

The biggest critique of her is that she is an actress. She can't really be this nice. No one can be this helpful, kind to animals, doesn't swear, and is just generally sweetness personified.

The Most Unpopular Housemate Ever

Nicole has gone to an Olympic-record shattering 94.04% majority.

Robert Mugabe must be envious. Who were the 5.96% though? Why did they bother to pick up the phone? The crowd booed and booed, and Rex listened without a care in the world. After she'd gone he said he was pleased.

I admire his resilience, anyway. Rex keeps taking the punches, but keeps getting back in the ring.

The Return of Mario

According to the Sun, the Great Facilitator Mario is going to re-enter the house on Sunday to propose to Lisa.

Whether we see it live or not is not clear. It seems it will be a one night stand, rather than full re-introduction. Presumably Lisa will say yes. She'll have to, won't she?

The legend continues, the story goes on.

I like Sara

I've only just started to realise that I actually quite like the flirty Australian chick.

It's taken a while for me really. I think that's because she seemed so relatively normal. Game, fun, doesn't take herself too seriously. Why would I notice someone like that compared to all the freaks?

I know a lot of people don't like all that flirting, but I never felt she was doing it too seriously, or as part of "the game". I just thought it was pretty harmless.

Nicole Versus Lisa Versus Sara

She can smile if she wants to.

So NomCam was pretty on the money. The three girls are up against each other, and all three of them had the nerve to nominate our Rachel. You could call it Rachel's Revenge. Underestimate the Welsh lassie at your peril, I'd say.

Anyway, provided she doesn't actually walk, it's laughing girl for the chop, and laughing girl who may actually eclipse Sezer's 91.6% record.

Nomination Confusion, Jade has cancer

The Sun, unusually, doesn't have the scoop on who has been nominated.

The last time this happened was the week Bex was evicted, when there were all sorts of rumours that BB were trying to fix things to keep her in. The standard way of doing this is to let everyone nominate, tot up the scores, and if they don't add up the way BB likes it, punish someone for "discussing nominations" by withdrawing their nominations.

Brutally corrupt, but we've had this before.

NicoRex argue and Jade returns

Another night, and another row between our tortured lovebirds.

Nicole knows stuff about Rex, but she ain't saying. She's stood by him, but he doesn't understand. And nobody else in the house likes her. He makes her feel terrible about herself and regrets even going in.

So what's new?

Rex is the new Head of House

Yesterday I predicted that Lisa would win the task.

As usual, I got that totally wrong. The task was to paint their bodies and act like statues. Lisa was the Statue of Liberty, Mo was the Thinker, and Rex and Nicole were the Kiss. Whoever held the pose the longest won.

It finally came down to Mo v Rex, and Rex won. Mo stormed off, shouting "fix" and saying he'd seen Rex move. He might be right.

Stuart hits the floor

Stuart wanted to go, and 59% of the voters let him have his wish.

Which means, for all you non-mathematicians out there, that 41% wanted Rachel to go. I wonder how it would have gone if he hadn't kept moaning. He might have been a player.

As it is, Stu got what he wanted. But he left spectacularly, didn't he? Moral of the story: don't crowd surf unless you are a thrash metal singer. I hope it didn't hurt too much.